She said her name was "party"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
