Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to align my fucking chakras
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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