You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
