just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
