Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
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Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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