In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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