I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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