she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
