My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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