You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
