It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
