corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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