Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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