So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize