He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
