I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
