pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
