ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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