They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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