It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
