1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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