let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
