I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
be right there i have to get my cape
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
