it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
