For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize