You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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