best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
