I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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