Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
