Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
