you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
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I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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