after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
