This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
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Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
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Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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