just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
