So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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