I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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