Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize