And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
