I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
