You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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