bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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