Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
