im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
