What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
