Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
