You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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