Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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