My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
