we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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