I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
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I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
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I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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