I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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