The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
