My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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