omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
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I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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