matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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