i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
