I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
