I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
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There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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