come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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