i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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